Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize