What a fucking waste of an outfit
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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