I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
