I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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