i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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