I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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