when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
