Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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