Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dear god my vagina.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
