Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
