please come you make the beer taste better
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
