Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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