so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
