Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
