do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Are my feet made of real feet?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
