If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Your cock deserves a montage
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
