you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You are the jesus of drinking
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
