I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
