bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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