I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
