Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
