it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
