it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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