She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
