If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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