i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
