All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
