You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
