its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
