Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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