She said her name was "party"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
