He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
