it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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