So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
