so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
