we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
