I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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