it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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