In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
