beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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