Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
