Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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