ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
