i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize