I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
