i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
