If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
honey bunches of taint.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
