Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
