she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He? As in you personified your dick?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
