when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
