brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
