told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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