well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
