Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
