Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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