Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
