"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize