SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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