you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Naked Twister starts at high noon
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
