While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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