did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
