dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
