And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
