So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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