im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
