Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize