you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
