in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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