she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
