Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
