the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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