dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
