New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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