No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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