Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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