I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Randomize
