I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
