yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
