Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
