I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
