The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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