she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize